Thursday, October 9, 2008

Twisted Nerve

Twisted Nerve, that's the name of the song that is my ringtone.

My quote of the day today is "The purpose of life is a life of purpose," by Robert Byrne. I think the purpose in my life, right now, judging from my time and money and commitment, is about as unclear as it's ever been. I'm just so busy. More busy than I would like or prefer. I seem to remember about 6 months ago (actually more) saying to Daniel Rowe that I could quit and drop all my business because I'm tired of it. I listed off to him all the things worth committing too that wouldn't be too much:
  • Student Foundation
  • Internship
  • Missions Emphasis Week
  • RA job
  • searchCRU
Here are the things I am currently committed to:
  • Student Foundation
  • Internship
  • Missions Emphasis Week
  • RA job
  • searchCRU
Hmm...looks like I am in fact a man of my word, but my my was I wrong. I guess I took on too much, but I seem to have so much more going on last semester, or at least more responsibility with fewer commitments. I don't know. Somehow, my free time is gone, daddy gone.

An upper, though, is that MEW will be over in two or so weeks, my RA job responsibilities will lighten up in a month, and that my internship is slowing down. But still, I'm freaking TIRED.

But more than tired, I'm disturbed by the terrible terrible attitude I've got towards my commitments. I don't want to them. I'd rather just sleep, and work. And when I say work, I mean work for a paycheck, not a grade, or an event, or someone else's approval.

Lovers and friends, I'm just stinking tired. I want a break. I'm signing up for nothing next semester, and I may stay that way until I graduate.
Advices?

7 comments:

Kelsey said...

maybe you need a semester of being involved in nothing in order to recharge, so that if you decide you want to become involved again you will love it again.

geoff payne said...

I've thought a lot about that.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Are you still planning on doing CruKnights on top of all of this?

Claire said...

Hi friend,
(Mind if I call you friend?)
I was in the same spot that you are w/ being too involved & I decided to drop everything for awhile and just relax...but dropping everything didn't make me relax...I lost friendships and confidence in myself & honestly, I have never been more miserable in my life. I feel like I am so out of the loop with everybody and everything that I was once a part of...it's not a fun place to be. My advice would be to drop one or two things & see how you feel after that. If it's still too much, drop one more thing. Make a list of your activities and rank them from most important to least important...maybe that would help. :]

geoff payne said...

I'm startig to think not, Dani Beth...

Kelsey said...

in high school i used to light incense in my room and listen to that song while lying on my floor before i went to bed. if you didn't think i was weird before...

and i really hate when the chain on the fan goes click click click, it drives me crazy!

how about when you breathe out and your nose won't stop whistling? ooh boy.