A long, long time ago, I can still remember

Today has been butt-diggity long. Long, long, long. Why?

Tonight was FYC's infamous "Date Auction: The Bachelor." I really do love how cool college is. It cracks me up. Anyway.
Tonight was Date Auction, and, I had fun, but I'm tired. I'm tired physically, I'm tired mentally, I'm tired socially, I'm tired spiritually. Between work, and class, and homework for class, and FBC, and RA, and Date Auction, and SGA, and intramurals, and balancing friends and a social life and this and that and this and that and on and on and on, I'm tired. As a sabattical, I turn to blogging to release my tiredness.

I'm tired physically. My sleeping pattern has evolved into stay-up-late-working-hard-and-then-go-to-sleep-early-on-a-weekend-and-sleep-in. It does not work that way.
I'm tired mentally. One of the worst part of my pride and vanity is that I try to do everything myself and bare my own burdens on my strength. By the end of the day, my mind is worn out taking care of myself, and then it has homework to do. Not to mention the fact that people come to me asking for my help in whatever they're doing more than I'm starting to like.
I'm tired socially. This has a lot to do with that last one. Evidently I'm cool or popular or well-liked or well-known or something, so people want me to participate in what they're doing. People want me to give them advice on dating girls, or how to handle relationships, or, at the least, they want 5 minutes of my time in Hardy when I could just be eating and enjoying the quiet.
I'm tired spiritually. God, I feel like we've been over and over this one a little too frequently. I've just started this new job and I'm excited because I've been honored with the blessing of leading your people and your church, but God I don't know how to use my gifts in the role in which I'm currently serving. I don't mind inheriting responsibility, but with that responsibility give me the freedom and the authority to use my gifts in service to you.

I know this post is more of a whine than a philosophic pondering. If you want something to ponder, tell me what you think about neo-platonic love and relationships under neo-platonism. Guys should be friends with guys so they don't fall victims to lust and depravity; kissing is like touching souls and looking into a person's eyes is to see them as they really are -- that kind of good stuff. It's something that's been kicking around inside my head, I've just not formalized my position(s) yet.
Good
Night

Back in the habit? Maybe, only maybe.

I'm putting this down now because I told myself I would this morning.
Sunday is probably my favorite day of the week.
Not because I'm a good little Christian and all good little Christians are brainwashed to think that "Keep the Sabbath Holy" is it; the goal and end in life.
I like Sundays because they are days that remind me of community. Days that remind me of fellowship. Days that have mornings full of love, and days that remind me of long afternoons with my parents at home. I guess, though, I really like Sundays because of Lifepoint.
This summer I lived for Sundays. I lived and longed and yearned and burned for a Sunday because on Sunday, I had a chance to sit and talk with Kevin, Jim, their wives and families, Greg, Joy, Matt, Courtney, Pam, Mark, Denise and anyone else who came through the door. I loved these opportunities because all week, I would be either
A) Confined to a house while my dad worked all day long, all week long and I had no one to talk to, or
B) I busted my butt all week long working on fences or doing yard work and so I had no source of intelligent conversation.
Wednesdays brought a mild dose of relief for me when I would teach the youth, but their expectations of Wednesday Night was the same as their expectations of a school day -- "maybe the teacher will teach, or maybe we'll get to do something fun." Either way it was like teaching goldfish because 10 minutes after I finished they were dancing around the room or sneaking off outside to go and do only the Lord knows what.
But to return to my original train of thought. I did not merely "go to church," on Sundays, I went to bible study; I went to worship. And I usually did both. However, now that I'm not at Lifepoint, I find myself looking at trying to find a new church body to go and worship with. I have charged myself with the task of finding a new place of worship and service and discipleship and I am left with the same thought after every "church service" I go to: I would much rather start a church than put up with this.
I would much rather start a new church that met in houses and homes instead of school cafeterias or a brand new "worship complex." I'd rather serve with 10 or 12 disciples who expect to change the world than sit next to 10 or 12 families who are checking off their list.
So, what's so different about this church and its Sunday morning services?
In this church that I'd love to start, the preaching is great. I've been a victim of lousy preaching before, and nothing kills your followership abilities and Spiritual Formation quite like lousy preaching. And the worship is real. We can have one guitarist, but as long as that one guitarist comes, expecting to encounter God in worship and praise, that's all we'll need. And I expect the members to not be merely members, but to be "doers of the Word." I expect life change as a result of meditating on Scripture. I expect the members to be in the world, changing the world.
Really, I don't know where this urge to start a church comes from. Maybe it comes from working at Lifepoint all summer long. Maybe it comes from Milfred Minatrea's Shaped by God's Heart. Maybe it comes from my tiredness of the current ecclesiastical tradition, and the "Purpose Driven Church" purposefully driving out the church. Maybe it comes from...
Well, I don't really know where it comes from, so I won't waste time with idle speculation.
Point is, I want to start a church, and change the world. And we'll do it on Sundays. Sunday, my favorite day, is now "Change the world day."