Tuesday, January 15, 2008

More Than A Feeling

Right at the moment, I'm struggling to keep my anger suppressed. It's not too hard, but the fact that I feel that I'm right doesn't make it any easier.

I don't really have much time or much to say, but I can do want to make a few notes.
  • I do like change
  • I am very progressive and forward thinking
  • I am not at a place in my life to where I can keep up with the changing tides

I say all this to say, I feel like I've hit one of my busiest and craziest seasons of life, and suddenly most all of my friends suddenly AREN'T. This is related to the same type of problematic circumstances that inspired the previous posts. To get down to it, I'm really freaking busy and my closest of close friends aren't really busy, so they get to spend all their time together and I get to see glimpses of their lives go by. What makes it worse, is that for the most part most of them don't mind that they get to spend so much of their time together, and when I bring it to their attention that I feel like things are changing and I'm unfortunately and unpermissively being left out, they can't sympathize because things for them are better than ever.
And, to be honest, I can't blame them too much, because they're experiencing genuine fellowship and I'm whining about it. It would be nice to know that they still desired my presence, but I no longer feel that vibe or connection between us. Now, to once again be completely honest, there are....extenuating circumstances surrounding even this event, however I don't want to even le that play out -- in reality, in my mind, or in this blog.
So, yeah. Just know that I've hit probably the busiest season of my life to date, and if I don't feel like I can trust the safety net of friendship that has supported me all along this year, I could fall apart.

And I'm out.

1 comment:

Glynis said...

i know we're all busy, so i'm not asking for your sympathy, but i want to let you know that i know how you feel. :) and i'm sorry, cause it's no fun.

sometimes i feel like i can't give myself fully to anything because i'm being pulled in all different directions. so i end up doing a crappy job at EVERYTHING. hmm... i think you are doing a much better job than me in that area. i'll be prayin for you! :D