S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

Currently, I'm feeling a little conflicted. A little confused. A little hurt. A little upset. A little mad. A lot tired and ready for bed.

I'm tired of sitting down at the end of my day and saying the same thing, "Today has been a long day," or "Today has been a crap day." Once, just once, I want to sit down, at the end of my day, and say "Today has been a great day. So much was accomplished today, wow, I am so amazed."
This isn't to say that I don't have good days, not at all. I just want GREAT DAYS!!! Know what I mean? I want days that really encourage me to go to bed at night so I can wake up and have a new one just like it all over again. I want days filled with awesome growth and accomplishment, and awesome thriving relationships.
I think that's where I'd like to camp out right now. Relationships. My relationships are going everywhere. I don't understand them. Obviously, if you read my last post, I'm searching for a more personal relationship right now, which isn't really growing in a direction that I understand at the moment. The catch with that is that I have more than just that one relationship, however I think most of my relationships are growing in a direction I don't like or understand too.
I'm feeling estranged and disconnected from a lot of my friends. I always figured that as college went on, I would grow closer to the people around me, but lately it seems the people I love and cherish the most just aren't available when I need them. Whether that unavailability comes from their own choosing, or simply unfortunate circumstances, I don't know. All I can really say is that I wish those friendships were more rockin' awesome than they are now.

God, thank you for the patience to make it through this day. Thank you for the quick wit and wisdom you have provided me. I know it plays off as a vanity, but God I see it as a source of your strength in place of my weakness, and so I thank you for your strength. God, it has been a long time since I went to bed at night after a great and productive day, in love with life. I pray you grant me days like this. Please God, give me these days so I can praise you even more.
I believe that I have followed you, my Lord, and that I have trusted and sought after your side, your direction, and your leadership as Lord of my life. I know also, God, that I prayed you would humble my spirit, discipline my heart, and break my will so that I could be recreated in your spirit. I believed and expected Father that you would show me love, protect me, and enable me to serve your purpose. Yet, when I conclude all things at the end of the day, I feel lost, disconnected, like something is wrong.
God, I pray to you now that you would continue to discipline my heart, transform my mind, humble my spirit, and break my will. God, it's painful, but I so desire to be recreated to serve you. Please, God, recreate me and enable me to accomplish the ordinary, so that I would look to you and your power to bring about all the extraordinary things this life has to offer me.
Thank you God, I love you.

good night